Holiday Travel with Children: 7 Clauses to Check in Your Custody Order

Holiday travel can be a gift—new memories, time with extended family, a change of scenery. But when you are separated, divorced, or co-parenting under a parenting agreement or court order, travel is also where small gaps in paperwork turn into big conflicts. 

If you are planning a trip with your child(ren)—whether it is a weekend in Boston or an international flight—run through the checklist below. Think of it as a quick “pre-flight inspection” for your custody order. 

(NOTE: This article is informational only and not intended as legal advice. Consult with your attorney on your specific matter.)

1) Notice Requirements: When, How, and What

Many orders require advance notice of travel. If yours does, it usually is not enough to say “We’re going away.” 

Before you book (or as soon as you can), confirm: 

• How much notice is required (days/weeks) 

• How notice must be sent (email, parenting app, text—your order may specify) 

• What information must be included (dates, flight numbers, hotel address, contact number) 

Tough Love Tip: If the order doesn’t specify the method, use the method you can prove later (email or parenting app) and keep it calm, factual, and complete. 

2) Out-of-State vs. International: Different Rules, Different Risks 

A lot of orders treat “travel” as one category—until someone wants to leave the country. 

Check whether your agreement distinguishes: 

• Domestic travel (out of state) 

• International travel 

• Travel to specific countries 

• Cruises (yes, these sometimes matter because passports/permissions differ) 

Tough Love Tip: Don’t assume silence = permission. International travel, especially, can trigger consent and passport issues even when co-parenting is otherwise smooth. 

3) Passport Clauses: Who Holds It and Who Has Access 

This is the one that blows up trips the fastest. 

Look for language covering: 

• Who has physical possession of the child’s passport 

• How the other parent gets access when needed (timeline, location, confirmation) 

• What happens if the passport expires or needs renewal 

• Whether both parents must cooperate to sign the renewal paperwork 

Tough Love Tip: Even cooperative co-parents can hit friction if the passport is in a safe deposit box, “misplaced,” or being held “until we talk.” If you do not have clear terms, fix that before the next travel season. 

4) Consent to Travel: Do You Need Written Permission? 

Some orders require written consent for: 

• International travel 

• Any travel beyond a certain distance 

• Travel during the other parent’s parenting time 

• Issuing or renewing a passport 

If consent is required, the next question is: what counts as consent? 

• Email? 

• Parenting app message? 

• A notarized letter? 

• A specific form? 

Tough Love Tip: If your order does not define it, ask for consent in writing and keep the request narrow: dates, destination, and return. No speeches. 

5) Parenting-Time Exchange Logistics: Pickups, Drop-offs, and Timing 

Winter break creates chaos because school is not there to anchor the schedule. 

Confirm: 

• Who is responsible for pickup and drop-off 

• Where the exchange happens (home, a neutral location, school when open) 

• What time counts as “start” and “end” if you’re flying 

• Whether exchanges change if a child is with extended family 

Tough Love Tip: If your travel creates an exchange on Christmas Eve at 6:00 a.m., you have basically booked yourself a fight. Try to design the plan so exchanges are clean and predictable. 

6) Make-Up Parenting Time: How It’s Earned and Scheduled 

If one parent travels during the time that would normally belong to the other parent (or if the schedule shifts), does the order provide for make-up time? 

Check for: 

• Whether make-up time is automatic or needs agreement 

• The time frame to use it (within 30/60/90 days) 

• Priority weekends/holidays that are excluded 

• How to handle conflicts with camps, birthdays, or school events 

If the order is silent, offer a make-up proposal upfront. It signals good faith and reduces resistance. 

7) Communication During Travel: Calls, FaceTime, and Boundaries 

Travel can make the non-traveling parent anxious—especially if communication expectations are not clear. 

Look for: 

• Frequency and timing of calls/video chats 

• Reasonable boundaries (not calling at midnight because of time zones) 

• What happens if the child is unavailable (at the museum, on a plane, asleep) 

Tough Love Tip: Set a simple routine: “FaceTime around 7:30 p.m. each night unless we’re in transit—then we’ll text when we land.” Predictability lowers conflict. 

If Your Order Doesn’t Cover These—You’re Not Alone 

Many custody orders were written for “normal weeks,” not travel, holidays, new partners, or changing work schedules. The good news is that these issues are usually fixable through: 

• A written travel protocol 

• A parenting plan addendum 

• A mediation session to fill in missing terms 

• A targeted court application when cooperation breaks down 

A quick “before you book” checklist 

✅ Review your agreement/court order for notice + consent language 

✅ Confirm passport location/expiration 

✅ Put itinerary details in writing 

✅ Build in a reasonable exchange plan 

✅ Propose make-up time early (if needed) 

✅ Set a communication routine 

✅ Keep everything calm, factual, and documented 

If you are unsure whether your parenting agreement or custody order allows a trip—or if travel has become a recurring source of conflict—our office can review the language with you and help you put clear, enforceable terms in place so your child gets the benefit of travel without the stress. 

Email us at consultation@artesezandri.com to schedule a complimentary call.